Natural Hair is like Parenting

Two years ago, I went and did it. I cut my hair. I had been growing my relaxed hair for ten years. It was full, it was okay. If my hair had been a lover of mine, my break up text would probably have been as clichéd as ever: ‘It is not you, it is me. I just need to find myself' or something equally unoriginal.

So, since then, I have been on what they call a natural hair journey. The name itself strikes me as ironic. Why don’t we speak of a natural *insertanotherbodypart* journey?
Anyway, in recent days I have found that the natural hair journey is very similar to parenting. Let me explain:

When you cut your hair newly, many people will describe you as ‘cute’. Some of them will mean it, some of them won’t. The ones who think it is not cute will probably not tell you. Just as many people won’t dare tell you they think your baby is not cute. Some of them will simply think: better you than me. They can admire it on you but it isn’t their cup of tea.

You will go crazy and spend tons of money on natural hair products. You have less than an inch of hair. You will not care about this fact as you picture yourself with a head full of afro two months later and buy all the products that promise to make your afro pop. The same way you buy cute oversized shoes for your baby and splurge on cute newborn clothes that baby won’t even get round to wearing.

You will overcompensate in your style. Sunglasses, more accessories. More make up. You don’t want to look like you are out of it or something. Sounds like what I have known some new parents do.

Babies eat a lot. Or, scratch that. There are many opinions on what you should be feeding your baby. Natural hair too. It eats onions, honey, okra (I kid you not), beer, egg, olive oil, coconut oil, almond oil, avocado oil. In short, cook for two. Or cook for a diva house guest because natural hair eats even more than you do. The list is endless.

It will get lots of compliments at first. Beautiful twist outs that remain where you arranged them like cute newborns in the bassinet.

Babies grow. Hair grows. Babies probably don’t always grow as you picture. Same with your hair. As it grows, it enters a crazy phase. It will begin to throw tantrums. It will look something like the terrible twos. You will be tempted to loc' it and maybe throw the key away. Some days you will look a refugee. You will get tired of questions such as ‘Won’t you make your hair?’ or ‘you still haven’t made your hair?’ when you think you are rocking a #TWA. I call this the terrible twos of natural hair. Your hair at this stage is pampered and to say the truth, not very well-behaved. In fact, it is a brat.

7. It will behave like a teenager. It will talk back at you. You go on Instagram and see better behaved hair and you ask, ‘but why can’t you be like so and so?’ It rolls its eyes at you and goes on playing its own 12 years a slave gig. It isn’t the fault of your hair, it is your fault for not catching it at Instagram worthy stage. Even the best of 4c hair has its bad days.
8. Finally, you call a truce. You are too tired of all the fuss and expenses. Your new bffs are the ones who just run water through their hair and rub in shea-butter. People see your hair outside and go, ‘wow, cool.’ They don’t know about the tantrum your hair threw back then, the screaming matches… what do they know? They don’t know the battle before you and your hair finally spoke the same language.

Someone will see your ‘fro popping and go get her big chop. Someone, like all those people who go, awwn, I can’t wait to have a baby- as they picture shared cuddles while they look serene…

TL;DR: You will probably have an aggressive love relationship with your 4C natural hair but in the end, you will call a truce and get along better.